To Nikklaus

It was grander than any comet, and far more beautiful than a shooting star. The bright streak sliced across the night sky as if it was to render the world in two. Nikk followed it, but then, so did everyone.

Everyone in town chased the white, glittering line that dazzled the evening. The crowd ran north, while he headed west. He was alone when he traveled through a grove of broken tress and scorched earth.
When he finally found it, all hope of gold had left his eyes. Nikk had assumed he would have stumbled across a piece of the heavens and would have been able to sell it to the highest bidder on the black market, or to perhaps a collector.
There was a small smoldering crater where it had landed.
He did not find a stone, but instead a small girl perched on a rock. She was crying.

She was so pale she was nearly translucent, with hair that was a pearl white. Each curl shimmered with every color of the rainbow. She was nude except for a small robe that seemed to have torn in several places from the branches. What was most startling about her was her magnificent wings. Each feather had a sheen that caused it difficult to focus his eyes upon. Like a mirage, sometimes it appeared as if she had a dozen wings, other times it was just the wilted two. Each wing was brighter than the moon and just as as large.

"Hey." He said as he stumbled across the warm crater to the winged girl on the rock. He spoke hesitantly, as if she were a frightened animal that needed to be calmed.

The girl sniffed and lifted her porcelain face.

"What... what are you?" It may have seemed like an offensive question, but he was a blunt man and didn't know what else to ask. A part of him told him to flee.

"What's it look like?" She wept. He climbed upon the rock beside her as she answered him. She motioned with a fluid arm to the sky. "I'm a fallen angel."

He blinked at her, unsure what to say. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

She looked at him with a deadpan expression. Even in the milky light with a perfectly angelic face, he knew that she thought he was stupid.

"Because," She hissed. "I can't go back. Ever. I've fallen." She paused and buried her face in her hands. She sobbed a heart-wrenching, dreadful wail. He sat there stupidly until she was ready to speak again. With her face still buried in her palms she asked him, "Who're you?"

"I'm Nikk." He then pointed vaguely to the east, "I live in the city over there. I could take you, if you want. Get you some clothes. Something to eat."

"I don't wear your clothes and I don't eat your food." She snarled, "I'm an angel."

Silence sat between them for what could have been eternity. Nikk listened to the crickets sing, undisturbed, unknowing that a piece of the divine had fallen and walked among them. He too, felt small. How could one contemplate something so god-like, perfect and huge sit beside him? She was a sun in the darkness, emitting her own small, quiet light. She was an angel, he thought, and he knew it to be true.

"...Why did you fall?" he asked finally. She seemed to have been waiting for the question.

"You wouldn't understand." She replied softly, patiently, in a sigh. "And I can't go back."

"What if you redeem yourself?" He asked, clinging to a small bit of hope. Seeing a sad, weeping angel broke his heart a little every time he chanced a look at her. He kept his eyes forward and his feet swinging, as if they were two children sitting on the docks on a warm summer night.

"Redemption." She echoed. She then smeared away the last of her tears on her cheeks before she looked at him. He could feel the press of her stare from her molten silver eyes. "How do you redeem yourself, Nikk? Have you ever found redemption in your life?"

Nikk paused for a long time to consider the question. When he finally answered, he felt smaller. It was strange. Most of the time in his life he carried himself with a cocksure attitude and a half smile. Around her, he could hide nothing. With a mere stolen glance the angel could see through him.

"I tried." He croaked. "Once."

"And what happened?" the angel asked. Her wings brushed his side and he could feel an icy chill followed by  a slow, soothing burn. The pain snapped through him with a coarse of pleasure, as if his muscles suddenly eased by the breath of her feathers.

"I... well. There was this girl," He said, feeling foolish. "And I loved her. But, I was with someone else. I cheated on her. I broke her heart. I apologized, but she didn't accept it. I did everything I could to make it up to her, to redeem myself. But, the damage was done." He said back on his palms and exhaled. "I even asked her if there was anything I could do to make up what I did. It was too late."

"Ah." The angel said. "See, there is no redemption. Only change. Redemption is for the selfish. People seek redemption only to make THEMSELVES feel better once they have wronged someone. When you do something, you can apologize, and even feel truly sorry. But, there is no turning back what you have done. You can't undo anything. Ever."

"So, there is no going back for you?" Nikk wondered as he continued swinging his legs off the edge of the stone.

She paused for a while, her wings gliding back and forth. At times, he thought the feathers were small eyes that slowly opened and closed. Other times, they were tongues of a thousand flames. When he blinked, they were white down feathers once more.

"...No." She said in a near whisper, "Once innocence is lost, it can never truly be regained. I can try repenting, I can smear ashes on my face and speak only honey on my lips. I can travel the seas of a burning cinder pit and purify myself."

"But...?" Nikk wondered.

She shook her head. "But, nothing. Our actions were known before they were done. He knew I was going to rebel. It was all part of His ineffable plan. Redemption will do nothing. It was meant. We change. We all change. Everything changes, nothing is lost. The same is to you, Nikk." She said as she looked at him meaningfully.

"So, what happens then?"

"The best redemption or salvation we can find is meaning." She said as she slid herself from the rock. He noticed that her feet never quite touched the clay.

He blinked at her as she began to walk away. The shadows of the forest consumed her. She glanced over her shoulder as she gradually began to fade away. The bars and pillars of the trees seemed to consume her.

"Wait." He said as he, too, climbed down from the rock. Patiently, she stood. He could see the darkness of the forest through her skin as she began to evaporate into the world.

"How do I find meaning in my life?" He asked as he stepped forward. But, even as he approached he could see that she was no longer tangible and was almost completely translucent. If he reached out and touched her, she would have been as intangible as a ghost.

"You fall." She said softly, her voice carrying in the mist of the air. "And then, you get up again. You may not fly, but you get up. Get up, Nikk."

When he opened his mouth to yell at her that he did not understand, she was gone.
Nikk looked around at the broken forest of trees and the crater that was left behind. He sat up on the rock, the same rock that he and the angel were perched. He sat there until dawn began to bleed from the sky.

A villager came, and then two, and then four. They searched the area for a stone. When they found nothing, they demanded that Nikk had stolen it. He denied it. Eventually, they left, bitter and empty handed.
Cold and tired, Nikk decided to return home himself. He slowly stood, stiff, hollow, and exhausted.
As he rose, a small feather drifted out from under him.

He caught it. It had the same soft, mother-of-pearl sheen to it as the angel's wing. He smiled to himself and pocketed it, leaving an oddly warm feeling against his leg.
At times, the feather would burn like a lash of fire, or blink at him like a third eye. It eased him, calmed him, and gave him a sense of understanding.
It would never bring him salvation, but he remembered to get up when he fell, even if he had tumbled far from the sparkled heavens of perfection.