I had a curiously uneventful evening. Though, it was no less interesting.
There were no Blood Knights sniffing around. Nor were there half-hearted attempts on my life.
I did cross Opalette, however. She instigated an argument.
I cannot recall the exact words that were said, though the truth that spilled from her lips were insightful enough that they struck a cord. I became enraged with her, and once again wished to strike her down. She said something to the effect of me not truly having the desire to kill someone, but rather I had a desire to kill my anger.
Honestly, truer words were never spoken. Once broken down she implies that I do not wish to kill others-- but myself, at least, a part of myself.
I did not realize this, but at the time, we were being watched.
There was a female there. A young one, who saw the whole argument. After I walked away and cooled off, she approached me. Timidly.
We spoke for hours. She brought up the situation with Opalette, and admitted she saw the whole thing. It lead to a philosophical discussion. I told her many things about my life that I rarely tell others.
It wasn't that she drew it from me, as if she had fingers that desired to open a shell to seek the pearl inside; rather it was that I gave the gem to her freely.
We wound up discussing the matters between nature and nurture. We questioned if we were the product of our own making or that of our environment. I ended up having her question herself. I felt as if I had given her a part of my soul, only to take away a little bit of her own. A trade, in a sense. Afterwards, I had questioned the morality of what I had done. I had murdered a little bit of her innocence.
So in a way, I did end up destroying a life tonight, merely not the one I intended. It was not Opal, nor myself.
Sometimes I wonder if it is my nature to be a monster, or if it was something that had happened to me.
Thoughtfully yours,
--Kiaphus
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